Work, Writing, House, Kiddo: Or, Three Jobs and a Baby

In the spirit of my recent "what was I thinking" theme, here's a list of all the things I didn't realize would happen when I decided that simultaneously working two jobs and becoming a new mom would be easy.

New working moms may experience one - or more likely, all - of the following:

1.Between you, the jobs, and the baby, someone isn't getting a bath. Most often, it's you.

2.You will eat anything that's put in front of you, as long as it doesn't have tentacles and isn't moving.

3. Actually, edit #2. You will eat anything that's put in front of you. Period.

4.Because of #2 and #3, you will remain fat. In all the wrong places.

5.Because of #4, someone will inevitably ask, "Have you had that baby yet?" You will have to decide between answering, "Yeah, three months ago (jackass)" and stabbing that person in the eye with a fork.

6. While we're on that topic, you will sometimes feel wildly emotional. This will cause you to use a lot of exclamation marks in your writing. Please remove them! Yay!!

7. While feeling wildly emotional, do not decide that it's time to finally shop for a new pair of "button" (i.e. not maternity) jeans. This experience will nearly kill you, and may leave you crying like a six year old in a Target dressing room.

8. The same goes for the first time you wear those jeans. You may or may not feel like the equivalent of a rhino in a leotard.

9. After that moment, you come to a new low. Remember making fun of your mother and grandmother for the industrial body armor they insisted on wearing under their clothes? You now own, like, four sets.

10. But you know what? The baby is always worth it. Even when he craps all over you. Which he will.

Holy F

Motherhood.

It's scary as hell.

Let's overlook the fact that, once you become a parent, you also become entirely responsible for someone else's well-being - physical, mental, spiritual, psychological, etc. And let's overlook the fact that, as the old cliche goes, kids don't come with instruction manuals.

Instead, I'd like to discuss the incredibly unfair circumstances that leave a child at his most vulnerable, medically, while he can't a) tell you what's wrong, or b) take anything for his illnesses.

Seriously - nothing. No antibiotics, no cough medicine, no Benadryl. We can't even give him acetaminophen for the fever. All we can give him is food which he won't even, love that he doesn't notice because he's so sick, and mist from a humidifier that looks like a frog.

So, to repeat another cliche...this stuff is NOT for sissies.

It's ALIVE!!!!

Can you believe it's been almost 5 months since I've posted here?!?

What's wrong with me to cause such an unacceptable delay? Aside from the more obviously flaws (trying to beat you to the punch, Peanut Gallery), I have some seriously amazing excuses.

First - the Impending Child is no longer impending! Wyatt Edwin Hudson was born at 1:37 pm, November 8th, 2010, weighing in at 8 pounds and measuring 21 inches in length. (Judging by the fact that I'm only 64 inches long, you can guess why my last trimester wasn't rife with blog posts. Just lots of languishing on my couch and complaining.)

Here's a picture of the second most handsome guy in my life. (I'm contractually obligated to give my husband first place.)



Isn't he kind of a doll?

Then on to my second piece of amazing news - we have a cover for HEREAFTER! You might have already seen this image floating around the web, but now you get an up-close view of this gorgeousness. Not to get all slobbery, but isn't it just dreamy? This isn't absolutely final, since my brilliant design team is going to add some blurbs I've received from some equally brilliant YA authors, but...still. LOVE this.

Plodding Along

You know, despite all the cool stuff going on right now, some days are not easy. Particularly when it comes to revisions. Even more particularly, when it comes to revisions made under a major deadline.

Sometimes the ideas are just a little stagnant, and the sentences don't flow. Too many "thats" pop in there, or maybe a (gasp) exclamation point or some excessive underlining, because my good emphatic words are on vacation.

Whatever the case, those are the days when you just have to push through, and promise yourself that you'll reread tomorrow, to cut all the rubbish you added the night before.

Oh, and also drink a giant diet coke to wash down a serious amount of blackberry & almond ice cream.

Big News!!

Considering how long it's been since my last post, are you surprised that I have a wealth of news to share with you? As is my forte, I'll just go for it in list-format!

Things to Celebrate:
1. Hereafter has an official release date! Tuesday, June 7, 2011 is going to be a big, huge, seriously awesome day for me, and hopefully for a group of YA readers! And can you say launch party? Oh yes!
2. In other "big release" news, my kiddo's arrival has been unofficially moved up to late October, thank goodness. I'm hopeful for a Halloween birthday, which will give me a lifetime of excuses to throw massive Halloween parties. As if I really needed any.

Things to Bemoan:
Nothing...the news above is to great to let me worry about anything right now!

Things to Ponder:
I kind of hate the song "Maggie May," but I'm deeply in love with it's mandolin solo and have had it stuck in my head all day. Weird, right?

Holy height, Batman

This is completely unrelated to my writing, but since I haven't posted in so long I thought I'd chime in with something that currently occupies my mind: my new king-sized bed. Is it the first time I've owned a bed this size? Yes. Is it really pretty in my master bedroom? Yes. Did I have the best night's sleep I've had in six months? Yes.

Is it UNGODLY, UNHOLY tall? Why, yes. Yes it is.

This bed is seriously 12 inches taller than our previous one. First, the gorgeous frame we purchased for cheap (compare this Walmart Bed to this Pottery Barn Bed) is a good 5 inches off the floor, allowing for a med-sized bulldog to crawl right under it. Second, the mattress we bought is the deepest thing I've ever seen. (No jokes...what are you, 12 years old?) Third, I added a 3-inch down alternative feather bed because...well...I can.

So, I can no longer see my bedside clock while lying in bed. If I try to read in bed, the light from my lamp can't reach the surface of the bed because the lampshade itself doesn't even crest the mattress. To get on the bed, I basically have to take a running leap.

And you know what? It's totally awesome.

That Foot Doesn't Taste Very Good...

So, you know how sometimes you do or say something dumb, and it's easily misinterpreted? And you know how I'm not perfect? Well, combine those two ideas and you have a nice slice of my afternoon, in which I inadvertently offended a friend.

After trying to remedy this mistake with said friend (who, blessedly, is very understanding), I thought about how I might incorporate such a speak-before-thinking trait in one of my characters. After all, it's a flaw I know well.

Since I've been absent lately, how about I pose a question - what are the ways in which you've occasionally inserted your foot into your mouth? How did you fix the problem you created? And, since my apologies tend to be inarticulate and blubbering (if sincere) messes, how do you craft a good one?